my mother is drunk.
she was mad at me for no reason.
she started yelling at me out of fucking nowhere.
and she went into her room and slammed the door and i haven't seen her for an hour.

in other news...
i'm bad at quitting things.
but i'm so sick of this.

today is not a good day.

//edit:
today just got a million times better.
jenn just sent me a picture of the kitten she's giving me and OH MY GOD, he's adorable!!

awww. i'm so excited.

i've been dreaming
i was lucid
i was dreaming blood was seeping from my pores
who'd believe that this was all my own decision?
cracked faces and medicated smiles
set fire to my home before i turned and walked back in
for every needle open my chest and insert ten pins
i just anticipate what awaits when i awake...break
i die in my daydreams
the gardens have all been overgrown
i pushed my hand through the thorns to crush the final rose
a deadly secret only i suffer to know
i can't eradicate what awaits when i awake...break
i die in my daydreams

i seriously cannot fucking wait for summer.
AFI are gonna be on warped tour. i'm sososo excited about that. and so is angela.
plus, i get my permit this summer. but that's later. still.
it's gonna be great.

memories sharp as daggers
pierce into the flesh of today
the suicide of love took away all that matters
and buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart

i am not sick. i am not at school. mom thinks i'm sick. i can't face school. not today, not when we find out grades for midterms and i find out whether or not i even passed trig. i swear, that is the worst class i have ever taken.

i can't wait for spring break. three weeks left. but i'm looking forward to summer vacation more.

fuck. i feel like i have so much to say but i don't know how. i can't even think anymore.

i don't know what to do.

testing is overrr, yay. seriously, this week was crazy. we had the cahsee on tuesday and wednesday and then yesterday and today we had midterms. it was no good.

i talked to amanda last night. =) i hadn't talked to her in forever, seriously.

well. i have nothing to say. except heroine is still the shit.

bye, darlings.
<3jen

oh mother, is it hard to recognize me now?
mother, why can't you recognize me now?
i've sent my letters, "everything's fine,"
but i lied
little boy little man
i've lost my name
heroine, oh heroine
where have you been when i needed you?
little boy now little man
i've lost my name
heroine, oh heroine
where have you been when i needed you?

hi, loves. =)

happy spring. today was beautiful. it poured from second period to the middle of fourth. it's still gray.

i got heroine todayyy. it's amazing. <3

i think i'm going to borders later with my mom. and then we might go to dinner. fun.

tomorrow and wednesday we have to take the cahsee. california high school exit exam. first and second period are two hours-ish long and third and fourth are only like fifty minutes. then thursday and friday are midterms. it seems practically impossible that it's already time for midterms. time goes so fast.

oh my god, you should seriously buy heroine. i know i already said that it's amazing, but i'm listening to it right now and it's great.

i have to go wait for things.
byeee.
<3jen

i'm thinking about making a postcard and sending it in to postsecret. but i don't know if i will.
scratch that. i'm gonna make one.

yesterdayi was at matt's house from 2:30 to like 10:40. angela and matt's friend were there too. we played pictionary. it was the shit. we watched movies. we listened to music. we straightened matt's hair. fun.

god, i love my friends.

today i went to the movies and then to lunch with my dad. we saw the pink panther. it wasn't actually that bad. parts of it were pretty funny. but oh my god, beyonce can't act for shit. it's ridiculous.

i get along with my dad a lot better when i'm not living with him.

i'm gonna go do a survey or forty.

au revoir, les chéris.
<3jen

//edit:
my new picture is very yellow.
this is what happens in my bathroom when i don't use the flash.

yesterday.
emily and jenn came over and spent the night.
emily is still here and jenn is not. jenn had to leave at like seven this morning. ew.

today.
i'm going to matt's house later.

i'm so social.

...oh my GOD.
today was the best day ever.

okay, so life on the murder scene is supposed to be released next tuesday, right? well, i pre-ordered it about a week ago and it came today. FIVE DAYS before it's supposed to be released. i opened the package today and i literally screamed, haha. plus i got an autographed booklet thingy for being one of the first three thousand people to order it. ohhh my god, i'm so excited! ahh!

plus, i went to blockbuster earlier and i saw my chemical romance on the cover of spin magazine and i bought that.

jenn and emily are coming over tomorrow and spending the night.

today + tomorrow = best two days in the history of time.

<3.