everything is so wrong.

...fuck.

so. the night before last i had a dream about frank iero. he's so cute, it's ridiculous.

i've been packing my stuff to move out of my dad's house. i was over there for a few hours yesterday and i'm going back over in a few minutes. i just want this all to be over. he keeps telling me that my room isn't going to be my room anymore, it's  going to be "more like a guest room". yesterday my therapist said she thinks he's narcissistic. big fucking surprise, right?

but, in other news, mom and i are getting another cat. someone mom works with is retiring and moving and he's giving away his pets. so we're getting his cat.

well. my father's here now. and i get to go spend another fun-filled afternoon at his house cleaning and packing.

bye, loves.
<3jen

so i'm redoing the playlist. already, ha.

today...i had a thirty minute conversation with jenn about jersey, aha. random much?

so. i have nothing to say, really. other than the fact that i want a new layout. but i'm gonna go find one right now, so there you go.

i'm off to mess with the playlist.

au revoir.
<3jen

mom let me stay home from school today because i didn't want to get up. but she says i have to go to school every day in march because of today. and this is the fifth time in three weeks i've stayed home. pft.

i want it to be the twenty-first right now. seriously.

it was so stormy yesterday, it was fabulous. it was rainy and windy all night. this morning when i woke up it was rainy and there was thunder and it was fantastic. it actually hailed for a few minutes too. crazy. but now the sky is semi-blue. not so good.

i am not looking forward to spring. i just want to skip to summer. except for spring break, i'm looking forward to that.

well. i don't know, i just thought it should update.

i'm off.
<3jen

this morning i woke up at nine because some stupid salesperson called. i yelled at them for waking me up.

i had an appointment with my therapist today that she asked my father, my mother, and me all to attend. so we did, and my father, of course, started being extremely defensive as soon as anything negative was said about him. i honestly cannot stand him. him and his faux wisdom, the shit he just makes up off the top of his head and then says like it's some philosophical breakthrough. well. it doesn't matter now, i guess. there's no point getting upset over it now.

so after that, i went and got my hair done with christina. it's so short, i can't believe it. but i like it.

[picture = stretching page = gone.]

it's so soft right now. i bought biosilk from the salon too, and it smells amazing.

i've been listening to Mad World all night. i love this song.

well. i'm off to the magical world that is myspace.

bye, loves.
<3jen

i am so completely, totally, amazingly happy right now.

you have no idea.

okay, last night, i dreamed that mcr was at my birthday party. i had a very long conversation with gerard about vampires, aha. and then frank and i talked about traveling. everyone who was actually at my birthday party was there too. mikey brought his girlfriend with him to the party and jenn said she looked like a whore. wow, haha. it was an awesome dream.

well. i went back to school today. i really don't like school except for first period. it was hard...to get through the day...but i managed it. =

i should go.

mom told my father today that i'm gonna be living with her. he's furious. he's such an asshole, it's unbelievable.

button has decided that the counter is her own personal domain. so today she was wandering along it and she managed to knock five candles off and scare herself, poor baby.

i skipped school today. i got up and got completely ready to go and then i decided that i just couldn't face it. mom found out about it, but she wasn't actually mad.

well. miami ink is on in like two minutes and i'll die if i miss it, so off i go.

bye, loves.
<3jen

i'm talking to amanda.
it makes me happy. i haven't talked to her in forever and i wasn't sure if she liked me anymore...but she does.

i went to my therapist yesterday and she said she thinks i should live with my mom full time. she says she thinks we should change it with the court so my mom has custody of me. so i've been researching about family court and custody laws. my dad doesn't know about any of this yet because she just told us yesterday and that was his birthday...and it would be really mean to tell someone something like that on their birthday. : but it's weird...to think that soon-ish i'll be living with my mom. it's actually gonna happen. crazy.

i'm off.
bye, loves.
<3jen

today. i was fine. until i went to school. i went to first period and i was so depressed. i couldn't do any work. i called my dad and he called the office and i got an early dismissal. so i've been home all day doing nothing. feeling sorry for myself.

i'm sick of this.
i'm sick of school and not being happy and always being sad and not being able to stop and lying to myself and everyone else and caring and feeling and loving...
i'm sick of life....
and i'm terrified.