well hello there, darlings.

so i've been fighting with my dad a lot this week. i'm so glad i'm back at my mom's house.

dad got my progress report in the mail today. he was not pleased. according to it, i have two F's, a D-, and a C. but the only reason i have an F in world history is because i haven't made up the last unit test or turned in my notebook yet. so whatever.

but i have a C in english! so exciting. i did well on my persuasive essay and my speech this week too. we got our research papers back yesterday and i got a B. i also got 119/136 on the lord of the flies test, which is completely amazing considering i was on page 28 when we did it.

i've been upset a lot lately. i don't really know why. maybe...no. whatever.

i'm off.
au revoir.
<3jen

prescribed pills to offset the shakes to offset the pills.

i love p!atd.

i know i'm a sophmore and everything and i'm planning ahead like whoa, but i think for my senior project i want to learn to play guitar. totally.

um. i'm in a really weird mood today. this friday is friday the thirteenth. when i was little, i would have been like. so excited. honestly.

i should go. i have to finish my essay and organize my speech and shit.

a bientôt, darlings.
<3jen

scmadklaeka.

i have to go back to school tomorroooow and i really don't want to. i'm gonna stay up late tonight though. because what the hell, i haven't stayed up really late in a while.

i don't know why i'm updating this. i have nothing to say.

i should check my email more often. i have like 23842 unread emails. whatever.

i'm off to finish some stuff.
au revoir.
<3jen

sooo. i don't really have anything to say. i stayed home from school today because i didn't feel good this morning. and i didn't do any of my homework last night and i was really really tired.

my powder smells good. the loose one, not the compact. the compact doesn't smell like anything. yeah.

i love sin city.

i'm off.
bye, loves.
<3jen

i'm tired.
i'm tired of feeling.
i'm tired of thinking.
i'm tired of being awake.
i'm tired of being alive.

i feel stupid again. i've been cutting myself like crazy for the last few days.

i feel...unloved. even though i have absolutely no reason to feel like that. i don't know what's wrong with me.

my dad's supposed to call the insurance company and get me a new therapist. maybe it's a good idea. i don't want to be in therapy. i don't even know that i really want to get better. i don't like relying on this but...i don't know anymore. i don't know anything.

i'm stupid.

i suck at school.

: we had our final test on lord of the flies today in english and i was only on page 28. but it wasn't that bad because we had discussed most of it during class. i just really need to bring up my grade because i think i have like 58% in that class. but it'll be worse now because we had a character essay due today and i completely blew it off. i have to do really well on the next essay and the speeches. :

i bet i have a D now in psych too. i never do my homework. i always forget, idk. i have no idea what i have in world history right now but i bet it's my best grade. i know i have an F in french. i just want to pass everything. that's my goal for this term. :

(or maybe i'm just too stupid for school.)
i bet that's it.

i'm seeing hostel with amanda this weekend.

i want to get my hair cut. not a lot, just maybe an inch or two so it'll behave more. whatever.

i've decided i'm gonna have a birthday party. my birthday is still over a month away, i feel so prepared. amanda even said she'll come.

ooh but today matt told me something about amanda's boyfriend today that i really want to tell her, but i swore i wouldn't say anything. : sndmasldnasjk.

i'm off.
bye, loves.
<3jen

i want to push you into oncoming traffic
but then i realize i'd kill myself
trying to save you.

so. school was okay i guess. my dad was a complete asshole when i got home though and we've been fighting since the moment i walked through the door. i'm so fucking sick of him. then i was arguing with my mom too. so i talked to jenn and she made me feel better. i love jenn because i can talk to her about anything and she'll understand. she's going through basically the same stuff i am at home. and she's a cutter too, so yeah. :

oh and over break, two people from my school died. the guy got shot during some drug thing and the girl killed herself. she did it two days before christmas. but her parents are like...embarassed or something so they're telling everyone she was in a car accident. but my friend knew her and she said she committed suicide. what a lovely holiday. they had big signs up for them at lunch today.

i'm off, i guess.
bye, loves.
<3jen

OMFG, WHORE.

Anyways. I got my nose pierced today, yay. My dad took me to do it as a late Christmas present. So. Pictureee.

It's just a little stud, but I'm still all excited, ha.

I want a new layout. : Yeah, whatever. I'll go get one. Or something.

I finally put Hollywood Undead on my iPod. I was listening to them all day today.

I might get rid of my fish. : They're a pain in the ass to take care of. Not to mention the fact that they cost a shitload of money, which I don't have. But I don't want to kill them, so I don't know what I'll do.

I'm have to type this thingy for world history. Jesus, I have to go back to school tomorrow. That sucks. : But at least it's been raining here for four days.

I'm off.
Bye, loves.
<3jen

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Sooo. I stayed up until 4:30 this morning with Amanda. Wolf Creek isn't that good. It's boring, really. There's only like thirty minutes that are supposedly "scary" and they're not scary. It was disappointing. So we went back to her house and we watched movies all night. We watched Coyote Ugly, Saw, Aladdin, and the Little Mermaid. Ha, we're cool.

I'm so mad at Jessica. About four or five months ago she told me that last January she was raped and the guy who raped her went to jail and got killed while he was there... Then she told me that this guy's friends were harassing her and then she said that this other guy was basically stalking her and hacking into other people's AIM accounts and IMing her from them. So today she told me that she made all of it up. She's been lying to everyone for a year, and to me for months. She told me she would understand if I didn't want to be her friend anymore, but god... I told her I don't think I can be friends with her if I can't trust her. Things like this are exactly why I can't trust people. :

Tomorrow I have to go back to my dad's house. And I think i'm getting my nose pierced on Monday. How exciting.

I'm off.
Bye, loves.
<3jen

//Edit:
I <3 apple juice.